by Henry Kautz
If your thesis is utterly vacuous,
use the first-order predicate calculus -
with sufficient formality,
the sheerest banality
will be lauded by all as miraculous.
But for theses you fear indefensible,
you should reach for semantics intensional.
Your committee will stammer
o'er Montague grammar
not admitting it's incomprehensible.
If you're dull as a napkin, don't sigh;
Make your name as a "deep" sort of guy.
You just have to crib, see,
Any old book by Kripke
And publish in AAAI.
A hacker who studied ontology
Was famed for his sense of frivolity.
When his program inferred
That Clyde ISA Bird
He blamed, not his code, but zoology.